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Vietnam children need education with sympathy, loving care

Vietnam

Student’s suicide should serve as wake-up call for parents to teach children in reasonable and effective ways

Published: April 10, 2022 02:28 AM GMT

Updated: April 10, 2022 02:39 AM GMT

On April 1, a Vietnamese student committed suicide by jumping from the 28th floor of Van Phu Victoria Apartment Building in Ha Dong district of capital Hanoi.

The 11th grader from Hanoi-Amsterdam High School for the Gifted left a suicide note in which he apologized to his parents and explained the reasons for his action.

He was completely burned out by the unbearable pressure his parents placed on him to perform well. He still had many unrealized dreams and plans but the negative energy was so great, suppressing him for a long time.


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Perhaps his parents did not sympathize with nor understood him, so he chose death as the only way to escape from the fatigue, stress and strain of his studies.

The sad incident should serve as a wake-up call for parents to consider how to teach their children in reasonable and effective ways. Indeed, it is impossible to put all the blame on the impetuous student, but it is necessary to review the attitude of the parents.

Providing an education for children is the right and duty of parents, but it should be based on the great love between parents and children. Therefore, if parents bring up their children without love, or do not have a clue how to express that love, such a method of education remains imperfect. That is because once parents adopt an authoritarian style of education, forcing their children to obey them without close companionship and dialogue, then unrelenting pressure on their children is inevitable.

It is absolutely essential to create a convivial atmosphere in the family, not only to maintain peace, harmony and happiness but also to be a prerequisite to educating children

In his suicide note, the 16-year-old student wrote: “Father has a short fuse, pays little attention to my emotions, takes little part in activities but always wants to have a full understanding. Mother is very helpful but always does wrong things and takes attitudes to extremes, so I am no longer interested in sharing with them as my opinions are not respected. “

His last words carry pessimism, the negative emotions and heaviness that he was burdened with for a long time.

If the father had kept his temper and had more loving care for his son, and the mother had listened attentively, deeply sympathized with and respected her son’s opinions, the tragic death of their son would not have occurred.

It is absolutely essential to create a convivial atmosphere in the family, not only to maintain peace, harmony and happiness but also to be a prerequisite to educating children. If parents and children live a healthy lifestyle, are open with one another, listen to, respect and trust one another, how happy will they be.

We all know that there are gaps of thoughts, acts and lifestyles between parents and children, but understanding the psychology of children is absolutely essential for parents. Let us make the separating walls of prejudice, age and personal experiences become bridges of love, listening, understanding and sympathy. In doing so, the distance of differences will be shortened, and the deep hole of age psychology will be gradually plugged.

Education is about listening, understanding, respecting, empathy, dialogue and direction, and all these derive from love.

Perhaps the old way of education with patriarchal, authoritarian and proud attitudes should be replaced with ways of accompanying, observing, listening and understanding children’s emotions, aspirations and problems

In addition, patience is a virtue that both children and parents must have when communicating with and listening to one another. We should not express disappointment and discouragement and speak bitter words to our children while teaching them.

I was told that a teenager committed suicide by lying on railway tracks after his father yelled at him “What a pig brain, it is better to die” because he had watched TV and not finished his homework. If the father had controlled his anger di lui and given his son di lui kind words, the boy would not have died a tragic death.

In a word, through the suicide of the student in Hanoi, it is high time for parents to rethink how to teach their children effectively and reasonably. Perhaps the old way of education with patriarchal, authoritarian and proud attitudes should be replaced with ways of accompanying, observing, listening and understanding children’s emotions, aspirations and problems.

Parents can help their children to study well and develop physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. They also need to set inspiring examples to their children and patiently educate them with effective methods. All must be based on real love.

It is parental love that touches children’s hearts and influences their behavior, and consequently they feel peace and happiness in their families and enjoy life to the full in the companionship and support of their parents.

* The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official editorial position of UCA News. This article was summarized and translated by a UCA News reporter from a Vietnamese article published by dongten.net here.

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